Fractured~new poem written by me

Fractured





There's this poignant scene in the movie,

Dancing at the Blue Iguana, where

this one girl calls up the owner of the club

and there are no words exchanged, all

you hear are her uncontrollable sobs on

the other end of the phone line.



Not everyone knows pain like that. You

have to have depth, letting go of perfectionism,

so that reality can turn you inside out.

Most people react when they see your eyes,

but that kind of stuff is lost on me. I know

pain by the way the body chooses,



the direction it needs to go in. The way a

woman can automatically arch her upper

back and neck away from a bed at a lover's

touch and not feel anything. I've known the

effectiveness of this insensitivity, it’s been

a lesson in survival.



Sometimes I feel heat in my hands, its

buildup energy that checks for that special

someone conscious of these changes that

take place within me, centered around

trusting me, loving me, without too much

expectation.



I think all of us hold the key to conducting

life with brilliance and understanding but we

choose to detach, letting the liaison bounce

off others without the purpose of connection,

of sharing. And so the same tasks start

to become tedious,



the same people, boring. And like the hermits

we can be, creativity is released on paper,

or on a stage, without integration into our

own lives. If I could hold on to the memory

of you, I would have no pain in longing

over something I was missing.



But something important just occurred to

me. I'm comfortable in my own skin,

with my own imperfection and I feel good

to finally identify this and let it out.

Sometimes relationships are for people who

need to be made whole,



because they're missing that one unique

flavor that completes their lives,

giving it a purpose, a definition, a name,

because they feel it somehow brings

them some semblance of balance. But me,

I have a different intent, a different sense



of being whole.